We have been having a similar problem with the LADBM in that we only wanted the textures loaded for the paged in area occupied and as we to are running on a 32bit system this was quite important. The solution to this was to call the following code
vpPagingMgr::instance()->getPalette()->lock();
vpPagingMgr::instance()->getPalette()->clean();
vpPagingMgr::instance()->getPalette()->unlock();
On the event call back EVENT_TILE_POST_LOAD
This frees the memory as you move around the LADBM and means you only have the textures loaded for the area that you are residing in at the time.
Unfortunately I am unable to help you with the unloading of the datasets as this is currently something that I am working todo myself and have not had much luck so far.